Its been a while but each moment is a great time for a new beginning:

So recently I signed up for a Family History class and have to blog as part of it. The last time I was on here I recently got back from Germany and was getting ready for my mission. I've been home almost a year now and that time 3 years ago seems like a lifetime ago. I'm getting ready to graduate in July and then go onto grad school. I'm already in the process of applying and will know in a month or so.

I have all of these dreams of what I want my life to be, but all of the great things in my life were not a part of the original plan. I thought I wanted to be an accountant and I was destined for social work not numbers. I thought I'd never go on a mission but here I am almost 3 years from turning in my papers and I can't imagine the person I would be without it. I mean the companions and people I met are such a big part of who I am. And then if you think of how much deeper my relationship with God is, I can't fathom how else I could have learned this much in any other way.

The point is I have goals now; things I work for and hope for along the way but I expect that at the end of my journey it will look far brighter then it appears in my mind. I hope to get my Masters in Social Work and go on to get my LCSW and a PhD. In what I don't know. But what I do know is I want to help people find what others have helped me discover. That there are tools within each of us. Resources and strengths waiting to be discovered and talents to be developed. We just need help looking inside ourselves from the outside. We get caught up in our short comings that we often miss our strengths.

For a long time I doubted and lost hope; in God, in myself, and in people in general. But one day when it all felt pointless, I felt His presence urging me to keep going and to not loose hope. To try even when I couldn't see the point in church in, in people, in everything. And little by little people were placed in my life who taught me to understand and control my emotions. To deal with stress and doubt not by running from it but rather by facing it.

I know that God knows me personally. He knows my strengths and weaknesses and He teaches me what I can do to allow Him to "covert weaknesses to strengths". Life is never simple but the means by which it is made easier are. Knowledge frees us. Whether it is a knowledge of ourselves and our emotions or a knowledge of God, it opens our perspective and helps us see beyond momentary struggle. A knowledge of the world and secular knowledge frees us from being bound to conventional thinking and living. It allows us to be and do what we want. Knowledge is power. It is freedom.

Like any other person my age (at least the ones who are over partying at this point), I want to be married, I want to be a mother. But I won't settle for just being married. I want to be happy. I want to find someone that will create a comfortable home with me and who will make decisions with me. Someone with whom I can raise a funny and happy family. I don't care where. I hope I can see the world, taste it, smell it, and appreciate its unique diversity but even if all I can do is carve out my own comfortable place in it with people I love - then I'll be happy.

My goal is to be happy no matter where I work or what I choose to be in the world - to be happy in my world. And to have my home be a comforting and welcoming place to anyone who may be in it.

I believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that living it is my truest source of peace and happiness. It is my life's goal to always remember and live up to that knowledge.

I think life is fun and is to be explored not endured. Connecting to people, places, and the past is the great adventure of moving forward in this journey. Nature and culture teach us about ourselves as we explore what makes us different yet realizing we are all seeking the same things.